Do you really care?
Yesterday I hit the drive-thru Starbucks on the way to the Hospital to see Jenna. As I was waiting for my drink the super happy guy in the drive-thru window asked me if I had any big plans for this holiday weekend. As I went to reply to his question he cut me off and said "here is you iced vanilla latte and Carmel machiatto hot, have a great weekend." I realized at this point he was programmed. He had probably asked the guy in front of me and again to the guy behind me about their weekend. He really didn't care what I was doing this weekend. But then again why should he, I'm just some guy getting some coffee. It's like when you ask somebody "what's going on?" and they reply with "good and you." They responded with an answer to the most common question asked without listen to you or your response. They answered with what they were programmed to say.Today's point is every time you ask somebody how they are doing or how are things, ask your self, do you really care? Do you really listen to their response? I think we have all made stupid, pointless, conversation about something we don't really care about before. Let's stop asking if we don't care. I would rather have you be rude to me then waste my time not listening to my response to the question you didn't care to know about. That to me is not only rude it's a waste of my time.
I used to listen to a radio show that when the host of the show was asked how are you doing, or what is up? He always responded with "do you care?", before answering the question. I always thought it was stupid. But now I see the he just wanted to know that the people really cared before he bothered continuing the conversation. Next time somebody I don't know asks me some personal question, I will ask that person "do you really care?" Maybe this will wake them from their program and actually make them think about what they say to the next person. I might not change the world with my thoughts, but I plan to make some people change the way they talk to me. If your not true in what you say, don't bother saying anything at all.
8 comments:
"What's up?" If the answer is more than "not much", the question has been answered wrong... cause you are right no one care... and again, why should they. While this seems, bad... I still think it is better than saying nothing. Fake caring is better than not caring, right?
I'm sure I will offend people with my not care instead of fake care. But the true goal is to find the ones that truly care and forget about the not cares. (Business people excluded, the world of business lives on fake care) Instead of "What's Up?" I will use things like Good day, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, and the grand head nod with a smile. I will acknowledge more people but start stupid conversations with less.
Hey man, um, ...How's it going?
I agree , whenever anyone aks me hows it going ,or whats up?, I reply wth something completely irrelvent without being rude, because I know they dont really care. Although I have gone into detail with a complete stranger about a challenge I am going through, or maybe I make up some off the wall sob story which probobably will make them think twice about asking a complete stranger "how are you?". I dont like that it is just thrown around either. There is nothing wrong with asking, I am just saying, I have spent litteraly hours of my life listening to complete strangers simply because I genuinely asked " are you ok?" If you are going to open the door you may never know whats on the other side.
zm
I see your point Steve and I agree with you, yet I think this is one of those social dilemma's that might be out of our control. I don't know if you played this out in your head or not, but this is what I envision...
You are introduced to somebody for the first time and they give you the obligatory and inevitable, "How are you?"
And like you stated, you respond with, "Do you really care?"
I guarantee the first thought in that persons mind is, "Whoa, this guys a prick!"
THEN, that person doesn't want to seem like they don't so they say, "No, really, how are you?" The lies and fake attitude continue and develop only because somebody doesn't want to be a jerk or made a fool of. Then you have to explain, "I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I don't want fake attitude and conversation so I will tell you how I am if you care, but not if you are just being polite."
Then, the other person thinks, "Who does this guy think he is, he is so important he doesn't have the time for pointless polite banter?"
Essentially, it ends with one of you being thrown through a window.
Now, do you really not have the time for a quick, "I'm good man, how are you?" response??
It's usually a good day after reading a Brian-case scenario.
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Don't take the encounter with the Starbucks guy personally, he's just trying to provide a human touch to a mostly autonomous system, even if it's simulated, by a human no less.
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