I have been starving for information and knowledge.

I have never been a book worm, interested in the news, followed politics, religion, or been interested in history. But I have been starving for this kind of information lately. I have found the audio books on I-Tunes very helpful. I spend so much time on the road I got through the 16 hour bible in about 3 weeks and will be purchasing a new book today. I have started the president site that has me more involved in politics then I ever have been. I get online and look and read news articles when ever I have a chance. Today I found myself flipping through the channels and stopping on the history channel. This a good change in my eyes. Not sure what has brought on this sudden thirst for knowledge but better late than never.

smm

Opening my eyes!!

For the first time in my entire life I'm opening my eyes to change. I have never been a person that liked or excepted changed. Since I was 15 and 1/2 I have only had 3 different jobs. I have never left the west valley of phoenix, Arizona. When I go to a restaurant, I always order the same thing.
Something has happened lately and I couldn't tell you what it is. I just know that it is socking my wife. Like tonight we went to Chipolte. I have always gotten the soft tacos and have never tried anything else on the menu. Tonight I got a border bowl. This mite sound stupid to you, but to people that know me, this is insanity. I don't change what I order not to mention get ride of the tortilla completely. I'm not sure where my insanity will take me. But I think that opening my eyes to new things will give me options to improve the quality of me and my family's life.

I hate taking down Christmas.

Today we took down Christmas. The tree in the house and the lights out front. This year wasn't too bad since we didn't go all out like we usually do. Most of Christmas was still packed up. It is still not something anybody likes doing, but it is the first step in the quest to get all the junk out of my home. We also got allot of stuff for the garage sale next weekend.

Got pulled over this morning!!

On my way to work this morning at 1:30AM. I saw the red and blue lights flashing in the rear view mirror. I thought it was weird because I was going 50 in a 45 and that is usually the cushion. He came up to my passenger side window and asked me where I was headed. I told him to work. He then asked if I had anything to drink tonight. I responded saying, You mean this morning? No! He then asked if I always go to work this late. I said, You mean this early? Yes! He then asked If had a divers license, registration, and proof of insurance. I said yes and as I reached for it, he said that's OK - have a nice night. I responded with and you have a great day.
As I pulled away I realized he had just been profiled in the 88 Honda Accord for a person with a drinking problem. I guess I could see this but I just choose to not have a nice car and keep money in the bank. Not because I spend my money on booze.
smm

Clean sweep!

I have decided that our lives are cluttered with things we never use and don't need. The next 2 weeks will be the simplifying of my life. No more stuff just collecting dust. If we don't use it, it's gone. My plan is to sell all this stuff in a yard sale the weekend before we go to Disneyland. I need little spending cash.
smm

I'm so glad it's almost over

The holiday season is a wonderful time of year. But for some reason this year, more than most I'm happy to see it coming to an end. This year for some reason just seemed extra stressful and busy. Looking forward to a new year with less stress in my life.
smm

Working on Christmas eve should be against the law

I got up at 1:30 AM on Christmas eve to go to work. This is horrible because it ruins the night that is normally spent with family. It's hard too be in the Christmas spirit when you are very tired. Sleep is my friend that needs to get his way or he is very unpleasant to be around. I'm with my cousins Chris down with 2007. Hoping for a better 08.

smm

The jetsons cartoon.

I was watching cartoons with Jenna Sunday morning when we came across the jetsons. Holy cow this a futuristic blast from the past. I remember when this show was so cool and I wanted to live in space one day. I think I enjoyed the show more than Jenna did. But at least she was willing to humor me for a half hour. I let the kid in me imagine what it would be like to get stuck in space traffic instead of morning rush our. Just think of the view.


smm

I love sherriff Joe Arpaio!!!!

Some people think he is a horrible sheriff. But I think he is honorable. He mite be a big fan of the spot lite but the things he comes up with are pretty out side of the box. Sheriff has saved the tax payers of Arizona so much money it's not even funny. Instead of building a new prison for the over crowded prisons, he built a tent city for prisoners. This is just one of the many ways he saves taxes. He gives criminals no privileges. Some prisons in other states are just short of resort living on tax payer money. But I bet the prisoners in tent city in July are not having a good time and that is the way it should be. I have had friends go to tent city in the summer and they said it was the worst time of there life and they would never go back. That makes me thing sheriff Joe has done his job. He has a chain gangs of prisoners that go around cleaning up our state. He make the prisoners give back to the community's they have taken from. In this link sheriff Joe is at it again by forming a DUI chain gang. This chain gang is barring people of alcoholism and DUI victims. Just another way he is thinking outside the box to get through to prisoners. Other Sheriffs should use sheriff Joe as an example of how to treat prisoners.

http://www.azcentral.com/12news/news/articles/1211duichain11-on-CP.html
smm

The annual friend christmas party has changed

Tonight was the annual Christmas party with all my friends. I remember the days of drunken insanity when everybody had to stay the night. Now we decorate cookies with the kids. The wives talk about the guys and the guys play rock band. The party is over early because the kids need to get some sleep. Instead of the sun coming up and telling us to go to bed.

This is not all bad. I don't miss the days of drunken intoxication. They were good times but they are not missed. Growing up just kind of hits you all at once. The crazy party's seemed like a very short time ago but in all reality the party has been winding down for years.

I'm just fortune at enough to still see all my friends. We don't see each other as much as we did in high school. But our lives aren't as simple as things were back then. This party is one thing I always look forward too during this time of year. I plan to do my best to keeping this tradition going on for a very long time. It's not the out control party anymore but it has become very important to me. I think tonight was one of the best party's we have had. It's fun watching our kids grow up and making jokes about the stupid things we used to do. I hope our kids are as luck as us to have such a great group of friends.

Love you guys and Merry Christmas.

smm

I'm a real scrooge this year

I did a pretty good job on the lights out front this year but that was the extent of my Christmas spirit this year. The inside of the house is just like the inside of me, just wants the holidays to be over asap. From thanksgiving to Jenna's birthday to everything in between I'm burnt. Plus the holiday being on a Tuesday sucks because 2 days off, 1 day on, 1 day off, 3 days on. It makes it hard to be in the spirit. I'm planing to force myself to be in the Christmas spirit next year. For the girls and my own happiness. This year needs to be over so things can be left behind and I can move on with my life.
This is me hopping for a great 08. I can't take another F'ed up year.
smm

I have corrupted my wife!!!! yay

The Kristina you all used to know would never say something like pee pee skin. In a recent blog Kristina left a comment more disturbing than my post. I'm so proud!!!
smm

I'm your dirty little secret!!!

I have had over 170 people visit my site over 25 times in the last month. I'm so popular yet very few are willing to comment on my thoughts. I know I'm a little crazy and controversial sometimes and this keeps most people in hiding. So I have come to the conclusion that most of you come and enjoy my site almost everyday,you're just not willing to admit it yet. It's OK. I like being your dirty little secret.
You're so Naughty!!!!!!
Enjoy
smm

Up and comming for the new year.

The new year has many great things coming to the web site. As you all know I have started the president site. I started this site for many reasons. I wanted to be very involved in the presidential election. With so much at stake this year, I wanted to make the right decision. This forces me to know what is going, on and I'm sure you guys will keep me on my toes. I also started it so that all of you would be involved through me and make the right decision. This site has already made me more involved in this election then any other and I have just touched the tip of the iceberg.

I also started the web site just because it's fun pretending to run for president . I'm involved without the stress of actually wondering if i will win. Not that I would have a chance, even if I was doing it for real. I hope this helps all of you make the right decision for 08.

I will be open for challenges on the site after the new year. This is what gets us all involved. If you view thing differently, I will be glad to try and change your mind. Or I could see things your way and change my view. This has already happened once and I haven't even dedicated my self to the site yet. It was done through conversation not the site. But I will send all people to the site for comments from now on. So all can see what changed my mind or didn't.

Enjoy,

smm

The holy prepuce?????

I heard about the holy prepuce on the radio and they said it had been stolen. They also said that some guy was looking for it and he was going to write a book about it. I thought it was a joke. So when I got home I did some research and found that not only was there a guy looking for it and writing a book. I actually found it on wikipedia. Read this story about the guy looking for holly prepuce and I copied the wikipedia definition below it. I think this is complete nuts but I'm only about half way through the bible and maybe that part is still to come. Or this is all just nuts. ( no pun intended)
http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/faith/12248886.html


Holy Prepuce
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

circumcision of Christ

11th century Icon of Christ Pantocrator.
The Holy Prepuce, or Holy Foreskin (Latin præputium or prepucium) is one of several relics attributed to Jesus. At various points in history, a number of churches in Europe have claimed to possess it, sometimes at the same time. Various miraculous powers have been ascribed to it.

smm

I'm kind of reading a bible.

My grandpa john this summer bought me a bible called The Message. It is the bible told in a modern day text to help me get past all the confusing stuff. Or you could call it the bible for common folk. I was having I hard time find time to focus on reading the book. So about 2 weeks ago I went to I-tunes and bought the audio version to put in the i-pod for when I'm driving. I'm amazed at how nice it is to be in formed on such things on the way too and from work everyday. I have gotten through about half of the 16 hour book and have found to be very interesting. I will give my full thoughts when I'm done with the audio book.

I'm hooked on the audio book idea and will be purchasing many more. Not sure which one but I was thinking about a book on sales, management, or how to read and talk to people. I think this kind of book could help me at work. Any suggestions would be great. I didn't know my I-pod could be so educational. I thought it was just for feeding my music addiction.
smm

The end is near.

Some Koren scientist thought it would be a good idea to clone cats that glow. This is a horrible idea no mater what good it could do for man kind. I'm against cloning. I'm no longer worried about Korea manufacturing nuclear weapons. I'm worried about them playing god and making these nuclear cats. I'm sure this is in the scriptures somewhere liked to the end. When man attempts to do my work I will strike man kind with a horrible plague, consisting of death and suffering. I know I have people that read this site and know the bible very well. Is this a sign of the end? It has to be I'm appalled at this insanity. Lets pull out of Iraq and get to Korea and stop this. If they are telling us about the glow in the dark cats what are they leaving out or not telling us about. They could be creating a super race of cats or even humans. This has highly disturbed me and I'm scared.
smm
http://www.wjbf.com/midatlantic/jbf/news_index/health_news.apx.-content-articles-JBF-2007-12-14-0019.html

Not a news web site, it's just getting stupid out there.

I found that the news has been making it's way in to a lot of my blogs lately. I didn't plan for this to be a news site. Things have just been insain in that area lately and I have seen things people must know about. I don't know if I started paying more attention to the news or if it always this crazy. Hope you all enjoy.
smm

These guys bought a E-ticket to hell

I'm not sure on how I feel about the heaven and hell thing yet but I imagine that if you shoot somebody in or around a church you are going to hell. If there is no hell right now, somebody is putting that together for these guys. Rolling into church on Sunday and just starting to blast people, is crossing the forgivable line. I don't think these guy can become born again.
The two articles of the crazy hell bound men.

http://www.kpho.com/news/14832134/detail.html

http://themoderatevoice.com/society/guns/16434/new-life-church-female-security-guard-shoots-gunman-dead-at-church/
smm

It's time to bring back public hanging

An angel miracle child jumps in front of her mom when moms Ex boyfriend attempts to shoot her. The little girl was shot 6 times by the man. He is a 4 time convicted felon. This is a man that should of been hung the second time. I think this could do great things for the crime rate. Nobody is falsely accused twice. Second time you are done being a drain on our economy and will put something back into it.

Just think we could put on pay-per-view live from the Excalibur hotel and casino in Vegas. The sponsors could be Budweiser and Viagra.

I think this should be considered. We would probably hang 100s of people every sat night for years but I bet eventually the number of hangings would go down.

This is the story check it out.

http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071205/METRO/712050396

smm

New to the web site

On The Man site I will be posting my Pg-13 inner voice from my cell phone. It can be found on the right side of the blog.
Same on the The President site it is just called what is your president doing.
Enjoy
smm

We have 2 new members in our family

Today I decided to help the wife around the house. So thought it was best if I contribute to the house work. My part will of course be what ever the robots will do for her. I will break down the simple math equation. My $ + a phone call = me getting robots to do my part of the house work. GEENNIIUUSS oh yes genius.
I no longer want to hear I do nothing to help around the house. If you push the button for me, I will vacuum the house from work. My wife is so lucky to have a husband that cares this much.

Everybody please say hi to Maria on the left she vacuums the floor, and Catalina on the right she mops the floor. These names have no racial value because these girls are not cheap labor. They around $500 labor.

smm

My definition of success.

I judge a persons level of success by there outlook on life. If you are a positive, happy, and fun to be around person. To me, you are successful. I find that the purpose of life, and what makes you successful in life. Is making yourself happy.
If you own a fortune 500 company, that makes you billions of dollars a year, and continues to grow annually. But you walk around mad, unhappy , and miserable all the time. By my definition you are not successful. Same situation but you love what you do, and you are happy with your situation in life. Then by my definition you are successful.
If you are the manager at MC Donald's and you are happy with your life, then you are successful. If you are pissed all the time and hate your life, but you increased sales 15% this year, you are unsuccessful.
I guess my point is I think I'm successful by my definition. I have a 2 amazing children with my beautiful wife. I have a great job that I love. I have a beautiful house in the suburbs, and I enjoy my life. Don't get me wrong I play the lottery in hopes of millions but I'm happy with what I have and that makes me very successful. More successful than I ever could of imagined.
smm

5 of the 6 have somthing to hide. I BET IT'S GREED.

The due date of Dec. 6Th for the 6 televangelist to turn over there recorders has come and gone. Only Joyce Meyers has handed over her records to Grassley. I could tell you my thoughts on the article. But I will let you read it and make your own thoughts. I'm pretty sure my view was set when I first talked about this probe and in the title.
http://www.ajc.com/news/content/metro/stories/2007/12/06/televangelist_1206.html?cxntlid=homepage_tab_newstab
SMM

A dedication to the people that protect our lives everyday

This link is a little cheese but has a great point. I dedicate this to all the men and women serving in are armed forces, domestic or abroad. There is no job in the armed forces to big or to small everyone plays a vital role. So the next time you see a man or women on there uniform or if you know somebody in the armed forces thank them for all they do for you.

http://www.gratitudecampaign.org/fullmovie.php

I thank my friend Jimmy recently out of the army and Adam my cousins husband in the air force.

smm

Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

The week before thanksgiving a sickness was brought into my house and it hasn't left yet. Mikayla has had three ear infections and Me, Kristina, and Jenna have been fighting a cold. You know the drainage, morning sore throat, cough, and head congestion. Every time one of us starts to feel better the other is getting worse and we seam to just be passing it back and forth. The holidays don't help the problem at all. Being so busy with work, family, birthdays, and shopping. There is not allot of time for sleeping not to mention that extra sleep needed to start felling better. The weather has also been very unfavorable to our colds. It seems like it is cold for three days then it 's warm for three days and then back to cold. I wish global warming would just make up it's mind and either come and stay, or go away till summer. This just come and go when ever it wants stuff, is crap. I hope we can get over our illness before Christmas. Wish us luck and try to stay healthy.
smm

The president ( new to the web site)

I have chosen to fictitiously run for the president of the united states. I will answer questions posted in the comments on the site but will not be fully dedicating to the site until the first of the year. I will make up some campaign ads, answer the questions in all of the debates on television, and answer the questions of the people that are interested in what I have to say then. Please enjoy this and don't ask if you don't want to know.
At the opening to the site you have three choices now.
The Man (formaly known as Mitchell's Brain).
The Wife which is my wife's blog.
The President which is me runing for president.
Enjoy
smm

We all just want to be big rock stars.

Tuesday night we went to my friend Rob's house for taco night. It turned into a $500 Christmas gift for my self. He has a PlayStation 3 and the game rock band. This game is the most fun I have had in a long time. I have never been a big video game fan. I mean I have the original PlayStation and some plug and play Atari games that are built into the controller. This game was not only fun it was very intense. After playing the guitar, and after I was playing the drums, I was a sweaty mess. This game is a must for all party's and friendly get together. It will also work for some quality husband and wife time. It's very hard to explain all the aspects of the game but it is a must see and play for young and old. When I get it, I will put together a rock band with a weekly practice.

To quote Nickelback:

I'm going trade this life for fortune and fame I will even cut my hair and change my name.

Hey hey, I want to be a rock star.

smm

AHAHAHAH!!! Jenna is 4 years old

Today was a very hard reality for me. I'm getting older and I have always thought my birthdays would be harder as I got older. I have learned today my daughters birthday is much harder than my own. Me having a birthday is no big deal, no big celebration, and the day is easily forgotten. But Jenna's birthday is a very big deal, with multiple party's, and lots of attention for her, reminding me that I'm getting older. It's hard to believe she was born 4 years ago. This day comes after my exciting news, about no long being able to create such beautiful offspring. Today is the reason why I had the vasectomy, so I don't have a day of amnesia. I loved my babies but it much easier when they can do things on there own like walk and talk. Mikayla is almost there and I don't want to start over. The scariest thoughts I have are about there teen years. The mall makes me twitch, because of all the teen idiots that are there. Hopefully my girls wont be idiots.
smm

YES!!! I failed my second test. I'm shootin blanks.

Today I have learned that I'm officially an infertile man. No more worries or concerns. I love my girls but I could not handle a round three. There are so many advantages to having a vasectomy and anybody looking to find out the advantages is encouraged to discus them with me. I'm not going to blog about them because they could be found inappropriate by some.
From one man to another this procedure comes highly recommended. I had a doctor that did a scalpel less procedure that had a very short recovery time. I went to dinner that night and the Cardinal football game the next day. There are some precautions that need to be taken after the procedure but nothing major.
I feel like a free man.
smm

I think we are getting in the way of Darwin's natural selection.

The city of phoenix is passing a law that you can't text in you car and they are trying to make it state wide. Read the link, then the rant.
http://www.tucsoncitizen.com/ss/local/63511.php

There is no way, I'm not going to sound like a complete ass on this one, but it is the way I feel.
I love Arizona but I'm tired of the government getting in the way of Darwin's natural selection. If a person is eating a hamburger, texting, and trying to shift in to 5Th gear at 50mph, maybe we let Darwin handle this one. I know there could be innocent people hurt, but this world is doing to much to protect the stupid.
If you are going to continue to protect the stupid why have you not gone all the way, ban talking on phones, eating, disciplining your kids, the kids themselves, staring at your GPS, fiddling with your radar detector, changing the radio station, the radio itself, adjusting your seat, turning down the a/c, drinking a bottle of water or soda, manual transmission vehicles, speedometers, maps, reading directions, Etc. I think you get the point.
The bottom line, no texting in your vehicle is a stupid law, just like all of the the ones I just mentioned would be. If you can't be smart enough to pay attention when driving I want Darwin's natural selection to take over. I just hope nobody else is hurt because your stupid.
smm

The real prize pack was on the way to the radio station.

Last Friday I called into a radio station and won a prize pack. I was excited until it turned out to be a morning sickness T-shirt that I love, and a bunch of stuff I didn't want. But the real prize was in the location of the radio station and the locked car door drive threw the town of Guadalupe. A very interesting town because it is surrounded by Arizona Mills Mall, High end homes and the I-10 freeway. If you go south from the very nice mall that you would consider being in a very nice part of town, and blink, you would think that you are in Tijuana, Mexico. Just one of the beautiful signs in Guadalupe.

I couldn't resist taking a picture of the sign saying, no picture taking.

Domestic violence exhibit???? Don't get me wrong domestic violence is not a laughing matter. But an exhibit? All I picture is some guy that wants to put his beaten, trailer trash wife, on exhibit. When there is a scene of a wife that has been beaten on cops, it looks just like this minus the exhibit sign.

smm

The dollar Diet

I have set up a 12 week diet plan for me and the wife starting January 5Th.
The rules are:
Every Sunday at 7pm you weigh in.
You must lose 1 pound every week.
For every week you lose at least 1 pound you get 10 dollars set aside.
If you do not lose at least 1 pound every week, you owe 20 dollars for the week(s) you didn't lose the weight.
At the end of 4 weeks If you have lost at least 1 pound every week you get a twenty dollar bonus
If you go 8 weeks with losing at least 1 pound you get a 50 dollar bonus
If you go all 12 weeks with losing at least 1 pound every week you get a 110 dollar bonus.
At the end of the 12 weeks if you lost at least 1 pound every week on the diet You should have 300 dollars to spend on new clothes for the at least 12 pound lighter you.
The idea is you will lose much more than 12 pounds, be health, and be rewarded for it.
I have also heard that after you change your lifestyle for three months it sticks.
One clause, if a goal of 15 pounds is lost for Kristina and 20 pounds is lost for Stephen, before the end of the 12 weeks $300 will automatically be rewarded.
smm

My FM sanity

Yesterday on my way to my second stop my truck broke down. I was able to get into a new truck very quickly and get back to my deliveries. There was only one problem the new truck didn't have a radio. I didn't think it would be a big deal to be with out a radio for a couple of days. I was very very wrong. I found it was very hard to concentrate, gather my thoughts, stay focused, and smile or be happy. The radio helped me keep my sanity. I kept getting carnesia, and the day just didn't go smoothly at all. Today at 7:30am I got the call that my truck was ready. I dropped everything and went back for my truck. When I turned the key to start my truck, the radio was up loud and morning sickness's was blaring. It felt like I took a backpack full of rocks off my back and climbed into the truck. I quickly got back on track and with the help of my radio, I got through my day. I will never take it for granted again.
Some good things did come of the absent radio, I thought about many things. I will talk about some major ideas I put together during this time very soon. One has to be finalized with the wife, and the major announcement will come when it has been cleared by the blogfather.
smm

Carnesia ( how did I get hear)

Today on the way to work I was running a little late and started think about the things I was going to need to do to make up time. As I went through the light at 67Th ave and grand I couldn't help but think to myself how the hell did I get hear, the last thing I remember is 91st ave. I had gone over 4 miles with no recollection of it ever happening. This is not the first time this has happened to me and it is probably not the last. I'm almost sure that I didn't run any red lights, but I can't be positive if there was even a light at the intersections. It's almost like time travel going 4 miles in just a blink of my eyes. I wish it was time travel instead of me just mentally check out for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm alone on this because I have heard other people talking about it. Please tell me I'm not alone on this. I have already come to the conclusion that I'm completely nuts and shouldn't be let out of my cage. I just hope there is a little crazy in all of you too.
smm

The big religious show is full of greed.

My religious views are that I believe in god, but I'm just not convinced on religion. I have always thought that the people on the TBN network where a ridiculous group of individuals. If you haven't heard yet 6 Televangelist some linked to the TBN network, are being investigated. The things in question are there lavish spending with church money and the cash gifts from the church, not considered income. This would be called tax evasion. One guy actually received a 2 million dollar gift from the church on the churches 40Th anniversary and paid no taxes on it. This must of been a big donating day for his cut to be 2 million dollars. This situation makes me realize there are 2 types of believers. The ones that make the money, and the ones that give the money. If the person making the money is not held accountable, greed can very quickly slips in. Smaller churches are not by any means in the TBN category. The smaller churches are the only thing in my eyes still holding the faith of the people and yet some of them are still questionable. If you go to church and it is a big show of ridiculousness that leaves you thinking what a great show, maybe you can pay them for there show but don't expect that money to go to anybody but the main character. I enjoy the church I occasionally visit and I know that they are not in to the ridiculous acts, and fake lives of the televangelist. Hear are some links if you missed the news on the 6 televangelist being investigated. I also think it is quite ironic that the government is investigating somebody for not properly managing the money of American people.
smm
http://www.inplainsite.org/html/tele-evangelist_lifestyles.html
http://desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071117/NEWS09/711170337/-1/SPORTS01

Putting a stick of dynamite in my ear.

I love my wife so much that I let her use me as her ear coning guinea pig. Something seemed very wrong as she lit the wick. I mean just look at me what is normal about that scene. I was thinking as the wick was burning down this must work because it is becoming so popular but what is it really going to do for me.





The answer is cleaning out things I didn't know I had in my head. Gross. I thought maybe it would contain a little bit of wax I never guessed I would have brown sludge coming out of my ears. This is a pick of the ear cone cut open after doing one ear.

I have a new found issue with everybody and everything being very loud. My wife says they are all normal and now I can actually hear like the rest of us. I would suggest trying this out I will let know how things go in the next couple of days.

smm

Turkey, an addictive sedative.

The past couple of days have been very boring in the blog department and I blame it all on the turkey. Thursday we cooked 40 pounds of turkey for 10 people to eat and yes that's 5 pounds per person. We also had about 15 pounds of mashed potatoes along with about 5 other side for 12 people to eat. We had tons of leftovers. Every meal since has been turkey, turkey, turkey. I have been so exhausted since Thursday that I don't even want to get out of bed other than to eat more turkey. It is an addictive sedative. That is why I'm going to blame the grumpiness of the Holiday season from thanksgiving until 5-7 days after we run out of turkey, on the turkey. The 5-7 days is to detox from the addictive element of the turkey. Your normal sleep a day must go from 8-10 hours a day to 12-15 hours a day to not be miserable during the turkey consumption period. So if you went out for black Friday at 4am, plan on continuing to be grumpy for several more days because you were behind on sleep from day one. Now you are aware of the reason a 32 year old woman will kick a man in the junk for a great deal on a laptop the day after thanksgiving.
smm

And the BOOZE cake QUEEN is!!!!

Bottle of Rum, Vodka, and Galliano. $52 Dollars.

Printing a paper crown, and markers to color it. $8 Dollars

Not even being able to stand up to accept and your Booze cake Crown. Priceless

For everyone that likes drinking there is now a cake for you and for those of you that don't, come on its just cake.

I'm going to need to take your car keys.

smm

Two sisters go face to face in the desert. Only one, will be crowned the Booze Queen

This thanksgiving there will be a battle going on in my house between Kristina and her sister Lisa. Lisa will be starting off with Rum and Kristina will be coming in with vodka. and Galliano Liqueur. The best part about this battle, is the two sister will both be in my kitchen baking me a cake. The two sisters were fighting about who makes a better booze cake. Tomorrow the family will make the choice on which booze they like better, in their cake. If you are unable to witness this spectacular display of bottles tipping back, as the beaters roar, and I sit at my table with a glass of milk in my hand ready to judge. You can see the winner tomorrow on my blog. Her bottle of booze in one hand the trophy cake in the other.
smm

The best example of commonsense not being common I have ever heard of.

This would almost be acceptable if he had been drunk, because I could see somebody being so stupid drunk and getting all pissed at the lug nut. I got a more gooder ideer. I'll shot it off just like a beer can on a fence. I'm not going to use my pistol tho I need some distance between me and the lug nut so I'll use the 12 gauge. This will work better than that wd-40 crap,he loads the gun.

Plans to use 12-gauge shotgun to loosen lug nut backfires. And he was sober.
Posted by The Oregonian November 13, 2007 06:58AM
A 66-year-old man shot himself in both his legs Saturday afternoon while trying to loosen a stubborn lug nut with a 12-gauge shotgun.
Kitsap County sheriff's deputies were called to the residence on the 10800 block of SE Olympiad Drive at 2:57 p.m. after the shooting was reported to 911 emergency dispatchers, said Deputy Scott Wilson, a sheriff's office spokesman.
"Nobody else was there and he wasn't intoxicated," Wilson said.
South Kitsap Fire and Rescue medics treated the man at the scene. He was taken to Tacoma General Hospital. Wilson said his injuries were "severe but not life-threatening."
Deputies at the scene reported the man blasted "double-ought" buckshot at the wheel from "arm's length," Wilson said.
The deputies described the man's legs as "peppered" from his feet to his mid-abdomen with pellets, pieces of the wheel and other debris. Some injuries went as far up as his chin.
The man had been repairing the Lincoln Continental for two weeks, and had removed all the lug nuts on the right rear wheel except for one.
"He's bound and determined to get that lug nut off," Wilson said, who did not know how long the man had been trying to free the lug nut.
The deputies did not take a statement from the man beyond what they were able to gather while he was being treated by medics.
"I don't think he was in any condition to say anything," Wilson said. "The pain was so severe, and the shock."

Please tell me this man never reproduced. It could be worse the second I read this I was glad to know that grandpa john was on a cruise this week and not at his house in Oregon. Hmmm Wonder why this story makes me think of him? He doesn't even own a Lincoln continental.
smm

Retail sucks. Enjoy Your cubbies.

I have some friends living the cubical life. I only envy them on weeks like this because they are actually not expected to get much work done this week. I would shoot myself if I had to live a cubical life. But on weeks when they are expected to do less than 2 days of work in 4 days I think would enjoy it. I service retail accounts. That means I try to stuff more work than I do in 5 days into 3 and 1/2. The 1/2 is for Friday because I will work so hard on Mon, Tues, Wed so I can goof off that Friday. Not less hours or work, just less days to do it in. So this is to you, keeper of the swingline, enjoy your week. You deserve it. It's back to the 3 walls, memos, and TPS reports next week. Try not to burn down the building. Christmas is on a Tuesday this year, for another week of slacking off next month.
smm

My post from 11-18-07 I will do anything to protect my children and today I'm boycotting smokers.

I have had many discussions about smoking with my daughter Jenna. Her aunt that she likes way to much is a smoker, so it has come up many times. I have always told her how bad it is, and that her aunt is very bad for doing it. But unfortunately children learn by example not by what you say. Today we were on our way into Fry's when Jenna noticed a girl out front smoking. Jenna said " I can't wait till I'm big and I can smoke like aunt Crystal". When I flipped out and told her the she will not smoke because it very bad for you. Jenna said " don't worry dad I will go outside to smoke". This when I just about lost it and wanted to kill my sister. I sat Jenna down and told that your aunt crystal is very bad for smoking and will one day die because of it. Daddy cares to much for you to let you make the same mistakes as your aunt. I want you to live a long happy life with your family. I then told Jenna we will not see your aunt crystal again until she stops smoking. Jenna said she doesn't want her aunt to die so if it gets her to stop that was fine. I'm amazed that a 4 year old little girl gets what my 24 year old sister doesn't. I love my sister but I will not let her or anybody else be a bad influence on my daughters. The world is hard enough for kids, lets not try to make it harder. This should make for a very interesting smoke free holiday season.
Always remember that your children will learn by your actions not by your words. So be exactly as you want them to be.
smm

I think my horoscope is trying to tell me to be nice today.

Cancer (6/22-7/22)
The real sticking point for you today will be understanding people, though you shouldn't have any problem enjoying them. You are in synch with everyone right now, which is creating harmony and a lot of fun. But a lot of what they are doing is confusing to you. Today, instead of trying to understand what motivates them, just observe and accept. They are finding their own way and learning from their mistakes. Step out of the picture and let things take their own course. Everyone will land on their feet.


I'm not a freak that actually believes in my horoscope. But reading it today, it made some sense. What people are doing is confusing to me. They don't get it ,and I'm done trying to figure out why they are so stupid. I'm going to except that they are stupid and hope that one day they ask my opinion so there life, and the lives of the ones around them get better. I believe I'm there only chance of landing on there feet.

Like I always say if you messed it up the first four times maybe you shouldn't volunteer out of guilt to try it 5 times. I think its best if you cut your losses and do what is best for all involved. Not what you think is best for your self. But then again its hard to convince a selfish person not to be selfish.

So much for being nice. I don't believe in horoscopes any way.
smm

When did common sense become so uncommon?

It seems like everyday I talk to somebody that has no common sense. Simple things that should be very easy to understand or figure out, are mind boggling to them. I felt like a genius explaining to somebody how to use the soap dispense in the bath room. Our conversation went like this. Me -See dude you just pull on the flap and the soap squirts into your hand. Him - That's pretty neat. Me - where are you from. Him - I have lived hear in Scottsdale for about ten years. I just walked out because I had nothing else nice to say. Has he been living under a rock, Or never washed his hands.
A buddy at my work thought he would tease the new guy by asking him if he had changed the air in his tires from summer air to winter air. The guy replied not yet should I get that done. Without missing a beat my buddy said yes, because they will be doing an inspection next week and that is one of the things they will be checking for. My buddy thought the guy would catch on there. But the guy drove over to the air pump let the air out of all 18 tires then started refilling them all with winter air. To make matters worse a manager pulled up as he had filled up about half the tires to ask him what the hell he was doing. He apologized for not doing it earlier, but since it had been so warm out he let slide. Needless to say he longer works at my work. But he took his CDL with him and is probably driving over the road trucks. No need to worry he isn't any scarier that the other ones on the road.
Just small examples of things that go on everyday. I think over time, technology has made us stupid.
smm

INTRO: LISTEN ALL OF YOU THAT HATE YOUR LIVES, STOP F####ING WITH MY CHRISTMAS

Some of today's news struck a nerve with me, and I'm pretty pissed off. I'm tiered of people trying to change everything Christmas was to me as child. This is the introduction to some blogs that will attack people trying to change Christmas. I'm not an atheist or a religious man. The bible says if I die tomorrow I'm going to hell. I see thing differently, but thats me.

Part 1 : TO ALL OF YOU SLUTTY MOMS.

Ho ho ho marry Christmas, is the sound that should soon be ringing out in shopping malls across the country. But some people have complained that it is derogatory to women. I say only the ones that are Ho's. Children that believe in Santa shouldn't know what a ho is. If they do maybe mom should stop being one. The only person that is offended by Santa bring his ho ho ho Christmas cheer is the one in line with her child that isn't happy with herself and what she did last night. I will fight this. Please join me. Make santa say HO ho ho Merry Christmas.
smm

Part 2: THIS IS TO ALL YOU POLITICALLY CORRECT A##HOLES.

I will be boycotting Lowe's because of there fear of say the word Christmas. If you are buying a Christmas tree it is to celebrate Christmas. Not the holidays, not the family in town, it is only for Christmas. The only thing that would make senses is if they carry these trees all year around. But for some reason they only carry the family tree in the months before Christmas. What if I want a family tree for 4Th of July. I can't, because there are only Christmas trees, not 4Th of July trees, and there are no family trees.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/christmas/familytree.asp

Part 3: THIS IS TO ALL YOU STUPID A##ES THAT CAN'T STAND THE WORD GOD, CHRIST, JESUS OR CHRISTMAS.

We live in a country with freedom. We can choose our own religion or not. We have the right to free speech (my blog is a perfect example), and we can celebrate Christmas how ever we want. If you don't like it don't celebrate it, and don't go to things that are about it. But don't try and take away my right to enjoy the holiday. I have heard about all the controversy surrounding Christmas plays, and them not even being about Christmas any more. They are no longer called Christmas plays in schools. They are holiday pageants or seasonal celebrations. I see Christmas as a wonderful time of year, especially for children. I remember as a child how much I loved the holidays. I got to see the family I never see, eat great food, get time off school, and get the excitement of wondering what Santa was going to bring me. It was a magical time in my life with no worries and love for all. To bad adults can't enjoy it like a kid can. If for nothing else leave the holiday alone for the kids.

Everybody stand up, put your right hand over your heart, and read out loud.
I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.
(say it loud)

No restaurant Happy B-day Songs.

I will consider this a public service announcement. I'm not saying this is true to all but I'm speaking about the majority. Servers HATE the birthday song. I have never worked in the food service industry but I have been talking to some of them and it is a fact that they hate the birthday song. Just to give you a little incite on servers, they hate there job, lives, and you. Don't make there lives anymore miserable. Especially the guy too happy to be there, he is the one to watch. The 2 most disturbing things I was told, is done to the birthday table. The first was the overly excited manager with the big smile that made the big scene would offer to get a round of refills after the song. When he hit the kitchen he started in on a crazed tyrant as he spit into all the drinks, stirred them up, put the annoying smile back on, and took them out. The second was when all the servers where done singing, they would tea bag all the drinks for the table. If not familiar with the tea bag i will give you a hint. All the male servers dip there yam bags into your soda so that you end up with a yam bag salted coke. MMMmmmmm. If this doesn't stop you from get all the wait staff over to embarrass your buddy for his birthday you must love server bodily fluid.
I'm not one to roll the dice. I enjoy my soda just the way it was intended.
smm

Explanation of my web site links.

C Decaro needs no intro he is the godfather of my website and is the reason I now have the obsession to be heard buy the world. Thank you Chris for everybody that loves me, hates me, and of course my favorite, the ones that love to hate me.

The second link is to Holmbergers morning sickness the greatest radio morning show ever. They are broad casted in Phoenix, Arizona. I recommend listening to them every morning from 6-10am. You will find your self peeing a little every morning do to laughter. If you can't listen to them I suggest downloading the podcast and listing to the Brady report and the Guadalupe squares. This Is where I get some of the very weird things on my web site. This should help describe the sorts of things they cover. Let me know what you think.
smm

Taken too seriously!!!

My web site is nothing more than me rambling about things that I come across in my day. I do not research what I find I don't have the time. I just put it out there for the enjoyment of others. If you don't like it, challenge me and prove me wrong. I welcome this with a very open mind. My web site is nothing more than controversial thoughts in my brain for the enjoyment of others. Entertainment purposes not for informational purposes.
I have offended my cousin in a statement I made about Islam. If you took my blog on Islam as informative she has set it straight for us. Please follow this link to her blog.
I apologize if I offended you Nicole but I'm really harmless, you should know that. You have lived with me.
smm
http://nicoleabbottpohl.blogspot.com/

Spread some holiday cheer at your next party.

Its not the holiday season without a rocket full booze so you can get blasted.

Raising children in america.

Raising children is one of the hardest and most controversial things I have ever done. There are so many do's and dont's. Then there is always somebody that thinks differently from that. Every day I watch the news, and I can't help but think my children could one day be on it. You do your best to raise them but in the end I think it depends half on there personality and half on there upbringing that decides what they will do or be. I know children that didn't have a chance because there parents were a mess, but now have there own business, and are better people than there parents ever will be. I know of children that were abused as a child and have become very successful, were others in the same situation turned to a life of drugs and drinking with no positive future in sight. I have also met children that where given every opportunity in there child hood, and there was nothing there parents wouldn't do for them. But they still chose to do the wrong thing and make bad decisions. It's all really a crap shoot. You hope that your children will always do the right thing, and make the right choices. But it is truly up to them once they grow up.
smm

Wrong but intresting! ISLAM

I have a problem with looking into things that are not right . Examples are all over my blog. This is another one that I don't believe is right but is interesting and very controversial.

Islam is very interesting. They are in to world domination, terrorist attacks, W of MD, automatic weapons, living in caves, and beating there wives. I think Islamic men are compensating for something. As you watch this video on how to properly beat an Islamic wife. You can't help but think. Maybe we should nuc that entire country.

http://www.glumbert.com/media/wifebeat

Is this really that big of a problem?

I couldn't help but think as I was sitting in traffic at the I-10 and I-17 stack that if I need a billboard to remind me I haven't pooped in some time and should see a doctor. Maybe there is a much bigger problem going on. I'm in no way politically correct, as my mother in law calls it I have diarrhea of the mouth. No pun intended. But I felt this billboard was a bit much. But I bet it makes for some interesting conversation in the car pool.
smm

America is too dum not to get hurt.

Tomorrow I will be going around putting tape on the top of a box with my product in it because America is dumb and a retailer doesn't want to get sued. We have a 18 pack bottle package that the top flap will flip open, if turned up side down. Yes, I said upside down. They are concerned because a customer in another state dumped 18 bottles on the floor and then cut her foot when she stepped in the glass. Guess what she got a lawyer. Shock shock. Now I have to go to all the retailers and tape the top flap of every 18pk shut or we will have to pull the product out of the stores. Guess we should of put on the box. Don't turn the box of glass bottles upside down and step in the broken glass. May cause injury because broken glass is sharp. The broken product will also make the floor wet and a wet floor can be slippery.

Some other stupid warning labels so companys don't get sued.
"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron
"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility
"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.
"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death."
"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
"Product will be hot after heating."
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer
"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
"Payment is due by the due date." -- On a credit card statement
"In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp

Grow some frickin bullets man!!!

If you have not seen Gordon Ramsay Kitchen Nightmares you are missing one of the greatest reality television shows ever made. It makes me want to open my own restaurant and run it into the ground so he will come and yell at me. I would be honored by his presents. He is not only a restaurant genius, his teaching approach is strait and to the point with no bs, and lots of F bombs. It's Bloody Awesome.
smm

India baby born with 4 arms, 4 legs

India baby born with 4 arms, 4 legs How did this get kept from us for 3 years. How did we not know about this Indian celebrity 10 sec after it was born. I would love to see the video of the birth and the look on every ones faces. (In an Indian voice) I have 2 legs keep pushing, I have 2 arms keep pushing, I have 2 more legs what the hell, I have 2 more arms holy crap you are giving birth to the Hindu God VISHNU. Don't get me wrong this is very sad, but like a train wreak you just can't not look and think about it. Watch this clip and think how nice it would be to have four arms that you could control. I say they go for that not cut them off. You'll need a version of Windows Media Player 7 or higher to view the video. If you need to download it, go to http://www.microsoft.com/windows/mediaplayer/en/default.asptarget=_blank The video player is supported by Microsoft IE 5.0 and above.

The Big grill

I have had a very nice 6 burner gill that needs to have a an BBQ island made for it for a couple of months now. Time and money has prevented me from getting it done. This weekend we had a bunch of family over and everybody brought steaks. 10 steaks wouldn't fit on my little grill so we put the built in unit up on 2 saw horses and fired it up. It was like a very manly dream cooking 10 pieces of meat all at one time in my own backyard. I think I will find the time and and use credit to built my master chief island.
smm

Your first cup of coffee is in the I-Pod

Music won't get you threw the day but it can get it started out right. I have chosen a selection of my favorite songs that really pump me up. You know the ones you can't help but sing and move to. I start this play list in the car and buy the time I get to work 30 minutes away I feel like I have had a cup of coffee. I'm happy, alert, and ready to face the day. Then I make a cup of that great tasting FREE work coffee. OK so it's not great but it's the right price and it gets me threw the day. It helps when reality sets in and I'm no longer jamming out in the car.
smm

Todays hot button IMIGRATION

I'm not sure where I stand on the issue. I wasn't angry when I was picking them up every weekend to do over 80% of my back yard cheaper than I landscaper. Most of the landscapers just hire illegals and add more for there cut. I was just cutting out the middle man. But I'm pretty mad when they commit crime and go to the hospital on my dime. I don't want amnesty but I don't want then to move away and stop buying my bud light in Phoenix. (For those that don't know, I work at a A-B distributor in phoenix.) Arizona is cracking down on illegal immigrant and driving illegals in land to other states. I guess in the end, if they weren't drinking so much dame bud light this wouldn't be a hard decision. But I would rather pay an American citizen to landscape my yard and kick them out of the country. So, my pay check aside send them back.
smm

Is the work place an extention of high school

This is not a rant and rave about the gossip queens of the office because, I have found myself being involved in office gossip. Which I only liked when it wasn't about me. This week I have fell victim to a he said, that she said, that you said, that I. Which was I complete twisted version of the truth that was all based on assumptions instead of facts. Then each person put there own little dramatic twist on it, and by the time it got back to me, it was a mess. The person it was about was upset and I was appalled and embarrassed that a simple conversation had gotten so out of control. When it was all said and done I explained myself and all was good. but I'm still upset that I was put in a position that compromised my credibility . I will from this day stop all gossip that comes my way. If I shouldn't know I don't want to know. If I'm told something I will not repeat it to anybody. I hope that this will make you think, and one day save you the embarrassment of feeling like you are in the halls at high school.

Beware all very disturbing but a new inhaliant drug for america kids.

Jenkem - Encyclopedia Dramatica
Warning - Before hitting this link I have to warn you if you can't handle the stupidest, grossest thing American children are doing to get high. Don't click on the link. This is very gross, but you should know about this if you have teen kids. They have lost all touch with reality.
This was something I heard about on the radio and had to see to believe. But it is true.
smm

Tazers

Everyday citizens can now carry tazers. This doesn't seem safe to me, the only reason I can see for me to have a tazer, is talking a drunk buddy into thinking it doesn't hurt that much, or taking care of my out of control teen.

I don't think cops should be using tazers either. Too many cops are being killed or shot because they try not to use excessive force on some crack head. I bet that if we went back to the days when a person went after a cop he got shot, and if he pulled a gun, the cop unloaded the clip out of his 45. Just think we could save lives of people fighting for us and not the life of a person looking to get us. "But that is inhuman" said the person that never had his brother killed by a repeat offender. I have never had anybody murder in my family but I know it has happened to somebody just watch the news. Just think of how great this could be. There would one less person sucking money from our paychecks. That would also help the over crowded prisons, let the cops take our streets back, and we would definitely have less repeat offenders.

I started this out to be a joke about blasting an unruly teen or drunk buddy at a party with a tazer. Guess I got lost and started in on a little rant and rave. But that's what this site is for. Getting back in track. Can you picture this, you get the report card in the mail with an F. About 20 minutes later she walks in the door. You ask how was school today. She says great. Then you say I got your report card as you you pull the trigger. HA HA HA. Bet she gets honer role next semester. Would also work very well that first and last day you get a call from the attendance office. Or the friend that is drunk before people arrive at the party. You know that guy, he is an easy target. I can picture Jeremy flopping around on the ground like fish. Oh the good times I could have with a tazer. I would never use it for self defense if you invade my home or attempt to cause me or my family any harm. I guarantee the only story to be told will be mine.
smm

update on memory foam topper (I'm Sold)

I have decided to not only endorse the memory foam mattress topper. I think that everyone should have one. It was weired the first night or two but through the week I started to feel more rested with less aches and pains in the morning. For one week we slept on the memory foam topper then to see if we felt it was truly worth the $150 bucks we took it off last night. One of the worst nights of sleep I have ever had. Kristina an I woke up in the middle of the night on more than one occasion going this sucks we need to put the topper back on. Tonight we will have the topper back on. We he also invested in some very nice deep pock sheets to fit it. The only negative things I have found is that it stinks when you first buy it and you need deep pock sheets which of course cost more than normal sheets. The smell will go away with time but it can be I bit much the first couple of nights. In the long run it was worth it.
smm

Fw:

One serious short bus. 

Is this politically correct or offensive.

Memory Foam matress topper.

Last night we slept on our new 3in memory foam matress topper. Not sold on it yet. It's very odd. It's firm, supportive, and very soft all at the same time. I did go to bed with back oain and wake up with out it. But I didn't feel much differn't than I normally do in the morning and Kristina Says she slept horriable last night. But she thinks that is just the newness of it. Will keep you all updated on the progress of our sleep. And if it was worth the $150. we paid it.
smm

Jenna's Punked my dad

On Monday my dad came over to our house, he wanted to go to home depot. Jenna shouted I want to go. On the way to the store my dad was making bird noses with his mouth. Jenna asked " what is that". My dad had a closed hand and said " that is the bird here in my hand". She, with a very sarcastic voice said why don't you try to put a cow in your hand. My 3 and 1/2 year old girl is pretty smart and quick witted like her father. My dad sat there quietly, appalled that he had just been called out a 3 and 1/2 year old on his line of bull . I just laughed and enjoyed the moment.

smm

Lazy America

Hello Friends, Family, and World

Don't misunderstand my title I love this country and everything it stands for. I just have some concerns about today's work force. I worked as a manager in the service/delivery part of my company and now I deliver product to 2 major deliver chains. During this time I have come in contact with many different people. I have come to an overall conclusion of about 80% those people . They are very, very lazy. Some people spend more effort on getting out of work than the work it self would require. Then there are mad when they get disciplined for it. It seems they want a pay check but they don't want to work for. They call in sick and expect there pay check to be the same at the end of the week. When did this become acceptable. If you work you get paid, and if you don't you shouldn't.

People today don't have a sense of pride in there work. They get out of bed everyday hating what they do for a living and make everyone miserable around them not to mention themselves.
Let me know what you think about this topic......
SMM

Welcome (site underconstruction)

Welcome to a look into the mind of Stephen Mitchell. I will write about many different things with no concerns of being judged. These are my thoughts not yours. But I welcome and encourage comments, suggestions, and views from everyone. This site is under construction and will be changing but I wanted to get it started.